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Hal Sirowitz
Home Style Yelling
Father said living
in this house means
I'm going to be yelled at.
But that still beats
paying rent. And who's
to say my future neighbour
and landlord also won't
yell at me? The only
advantage is they'll have
to yell from the hallway.
The Finger Method
Father said a kiss
is a key to a woman's heart,
provided I don't have
bad breath. Then
it's best to excuse myself,
dash into her bathroom,
and brush my teeth
with my fingers. Don't
worry about preventing
cavities. I'll have time
to brush them the right way
when I get home.
No Response
Every time you touch
my breasts, she said,
you're sending a signal -
'I'm in need of sex.'
If you want to know
why I don't always respond,
try imagining someone
ringing your doorbell
twenty times. She waits
a second, then rings again.
I bet you'd also tell her to go away.
Copyright © Hal Sirowitz